Breastfeeding For Moms On the Fence

For ladies who are pregnant or are thinking of becoming pregnant one of these days, a decision that will eventually come up is how you are going to feed your baby. It's not an easy decision, or one taken lightly either, but I'd like to put my opinion out there as someone who has done both formula and breastfeeding. People who have only done one or the other can have a one-sided take, so, I hope you find this helpful and informative, and then I hope you choose breastfeeding.

Obviously, by looking at the title of this blog, you can get an idea of where I'm taking this. In the past, I've often sung the praises of breastfeeding, but I felt like I was preaching to the choir because the people who were reading about breastfeeding had already had their minds made up based on research or what have you. Research is very important, a good friend of mine, Dan, is an RN. He doesn't have breasts, but he certainly does appreciate them for what they do. Here is a link to his newsletter on the topic:myemail.constantcontact.com/Breast-Milk--A-Natural-Form-Of-Stem-Cell-Therapy.html?soid=1105372883965&aid=rDDMMeeyTeU Join his mailing list, he has amazing things to say about your health and he's a pretty neat guy. And if you want even more science, you can check out this abstract: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20712706 which is also linked on his newsletter. However, today, I'm looking to reach out to the lady knows about each side's research or maybe doesn't, but is looking for different information. Science is a huge part of choosing breastmilk, but science aside, I bet you want to know the other benefits. The ones that the scientists rarely mention because they're scientists and have other things to do. Like I said before, I've done both, so I can provide a vivid comparison.

My first baby was born the day he became full term. I had preeclampsia and needed to be induced. He could have used those three weeks to grow more, Jayden weighed in at 4.8lbs when he was born. His APGAR scores were very good so we took him home after the typical amount of time in the hospital. However, the general smallness of him made latching hard for him, and pumping hard for me. I was instructed to feed him every 3 hours (waking him from sleep) until he reached 5lbs. This was my first month with him: Try to get him to latch for 20 minutes, put him down and pump for 30 minutes (because my pump back then didn't have a double tubing I had to do one at a time), feed him for 30 minutes (he was squirmy and restless {probably because he was starving}), burp him for 10 minutes, change him 5 minutes, pump off any breastmilk I had leaking at the time for 10 minutes. The other hour and 15 minutes was spent singing to him, and cuddling, and trying to put him to sleep. After that, maybe I might have 10 minutes for showering and eating a meal myself before it started all over again. It was challenging to say the least and by the time he was 5 lbs, I was exhausted. He never did latch, and a little after a month I didn't know what my next step was. I was the first of my college friends to have a baby, and only one other cousin had had a baby that I was close with and they were not breastfeeding (adamantly so). None of us (my close friends and family) were breastfed, neither were our mothers. So I didn't get alot of support or advice on the topic. I saw a lactation coach, and had success while I was in her office, because she was doing all sorts of neat tricks with my breasts, and held and calmed the baby for me while I "relaxed and let down my milk slowly"; it was a different story when I was home, alone, with Jayden crying and my breasts so full they might explode. I thought, "Well, ya gave it a good try." After agonizing over it, I switched to formula. I felt terrible about it because I did do my research.

My second baby was born with a more manageable weight. Delaney was 6.3 lbs, and was a voracious eater who latched right away. She latched incorrectly though. I think I was so happy that she was latching at all that I wasn't correcting the latch for fear that I'd lose it altogether, and so that little barracuda sucked off most of the skin on my nipples and I wound up getting mastitis twice in the first month. But I had two things on my side this time around: a better pump and facebook. While my nipples healed I spoonfed her pumped breastmilk, and after that I put it out there on facebook that I was having trouble. No offense to my previous lactation coach who was older and very set in her ways of how breastfeeding should go down, but the advice I got on facebook from my extended friends and family was many and varied. Some things worked like a charm and some things didn't (side-lying is NOT my thing), but I was appreciative to have it. Plus, it was like having my own cheerleading squad. They were there for me, every day giving me encouragement and suggestions, and when Laney and I finally had it down to a t, they were just as happy as I was. Because other breastfeeding moms want more ladies to join our club. Breastfeeding is not some exclusive underground society. Well it is, but that's not because of us. If we had it our way, breastfeeding tools would be affordable and plentiful, information would be out there as universal knowledge, accommodations would automatically be made at our workplaces, and the act of breastfeeding itself wouldn't be something we needed to hide in public bathrooms when we are out of our own houses. Some places you go are more progressive than others, you are lucky if you live in one of those places. There is always the option of not caring what other people think, and you do what you think is best for your child. I've breastfed at the park, on a mall bench, waiting for my pictures at Picture People, at a Mexican restaurant, in line at Canobie Lake, and in the Mugar Omni Theatre to name a few. I used a cover up, but I never felt like I had to.

While breastfeeding, I never wanted to hide away in my parked car, or worse, in a restroom. I wanted people to see what I was doing because I wanted what I was doing to be as normal looking as a mother bottle feeding. Made me feel like when I was a kid and I finally learned how to ride a bike without training wheels. As if I was saying "Look what I can do!!!" Because breastfeeding is amazing. It feels incredible to think that not only did you make this human being cell by cell, but you can provide it sustenance for at least the next year. Nothing short of a miracle, and I do not throw that word around. Don't get me wrong, I never meant to make my breastfeeding make other women who chose formula uncomfortable about that. But I was hoping that moms to be who hadn't made that choice yet would be inspired.

I know how hard it is to make the choice because I made it twice with different outcomes. We are told by our pediatricians and baby magazines that while breastmilk is best, formula is just as good, almost. It gives us a false sense of security that it's okay to not even try to latch our babies, because achieving the latch is hard work at first. The reason for that is, it's just not our culture in the U.S. to breastfeed. We've grown away from it. Formula is big business and they have invested alot of money in advertising and free samples to be given out in doctors' offices and hospitals. At first glance it seems to be so much easier to let your supply dry up as quickly as possible and get babies right on formula. It makes the transition from having no child, to having to provide for a child look hassle-less. It gives you a little bit of yourself back right away. You just spent 9 months not drinking, smoking, and eating mercury. But you should know, that you'll never have yourself back, truly, ever. (But if you're a great mom, you don't want your former life back. After childbirth, you are still you, but you have more to think about. Being a great mom shouldn't diminish or compromise you, it should make you shine brighter)

Let me give you some examples of why to choose breastfeeding lady to lady, not expert to novice:

1. The bonding. There is nothing like the closeness you feel while you are breastfeeding. You are looking into each other's eyes, your breathing is in sync, their skin is on your skin. Your brain is producing oxytocin. It's addicting. For me, it was just great to be able to have some quiet alone time with my baby, because at any given time there are several people in my house to visit, who want my baby all to themselves. It's nice that the visitors come because then you can get a chance to brush your own teeth for a moment. But when it comes down to it you are the only one that can provide this service. And that thought can be a little scary too. Or it could make your partner feel left out. This shouldn't be a worry if your baby can be fed pumped breastmilk without too much confusion. While you're working on that, make sure your baby and your partner have some skin on skin time anyway to strengthen their bond.

2. The price. While breastfeeding necessities are expensive to purchase the one time you purchase them (highway robbery!) it pales in comparison to the constant amount to pay when you pay for formula.

Medela Pump In Style Advanced Breast Pump w/ Metro Bag: $310.99

Medela Breast Pump Accessory Set $37.50

Medela Breast Milk Freezer and Storage 12 Pack $14.49

Munchkin Jelly Bean Nursing Cover (optional) $17.99

Lansinoh HPA Lanolin 2oz Nipple Balm (optional) $10.99

$391.96 (free if you can get all these at your baby shower)

Average 1 week (you might be able spread it out to a week and a half) supply of formula is $22.99 for 1 year = $1,195.48 Not to mention the cost of sick visits for increased ear infections and medication for diarrhea or constipation in the immediate. Possible food allergy complications, asthma, auto immune diseases, and learning disabilities in the future.

Also... you tend to run out of formula at the worst times, like when supermarkets are closed.

3. The am feedings.

Scenario 1. It's 3am, Jayden is crying. I get up, turn the light on and walk past his bassinet. I walk into the kitchen, turn on the kitchen light, and I get out an empty bottle from the bottle drawer. I take out the scoop and measure the correct amount of powdered formula and dump that into the bottle. I then wait with my fingers under the running tap until the cold water turns luke warm. Then I shake it like a Polaroid Picture. I walk back to a hysteric baby and pick him up and begin to feed him. He is sweaty and tear-stained, which makes me upset. It takes a little time to get him calm, but he does get his bottle and is burped. It's difficult to get him back to sleep because I myself am wide awake. I get up and walk around with him until he falls back to sleep.

Scenario 2. It's 3am, Delaney is crying. I scarcely lift open one eyelid. Without getting out of bed, I reach over and slide her bassinet closer to me, and lift her up. She is immediately happy to be in my arms. I prop myself up comfortably on some pillows, slide my camisole over and begin to feed her. She takes what she needs and falls back to sleep within minutes. I burp her and place her back in her bassinet. The end. No lights were turned on in Scenario 2.

4. The Spit Up. Formula spit up has a thick white curdley consistency, which is misleading because when you try to wash it out of clothing, it leaves a yellow blob stain. You can expect spit up with every bottle and in between bottles, when you pick them up, when you change them, when you are wearing fancy clothes, when they are wearing fancy clothes, when your boss is holding them, when they are strapped in their car seats and you're on the highway, and especially when you hold them over your head, wide-mouthed and admiring their adorable belly button. The amount of spit up varies, but you can expect anywhere from a teaspoon (which is just enough to ruin an outfit) to a cup (which is more than enough to ruin your life). And then there's the smell. It's like sour milk, but also it's warm, so even if you couldn't smell, you'd still gag a little. And your little darling could hit a target from 5ft away, with the stream power of a kitchen sink sprayer. Now breastmilk spit up is mostly colorless or slightly milky, scentless, and washes clean. And because breastmilk is so highly digestable the amount your baby will spit (if they do, even) will be minimal, and most likely to occur during burping. Since there are no air pockets inside your breasts, the likelyhood of spit up is dramatically decreased.

5. The Poop. I'm not going to tell you that breastmilk poop is cuter than formula poop, but I will say that the smell and clean up are more pleasant. Breastmilk is digested quicker so it travels through the body faster. So fast, that when it comes out it makes a distinct tooting noise. This noise can be heard from several rooms away, even as far as the neighbor's. This noise lets you know right away that your baby is ready to be changed. But you might not need a warning system anyway, because breastmilk is so predictable, you'll get into the swing of timing out poop time in regards to feeding time. You also will enjoy up to 6 SuperStink free months until you start introducing solid foods. Formula poop is smelly, inconsistent, and unpredictable. Why? Lets look at ingredients...

Average Formula contains: NONFAT MILK, LACTOSE, VEGETABLE OIL (PALM OLEIN, COCONUT, SOY, AND HIGH OLEIC SUNFLOWER OILS), WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, GALACTOOLIGOSACCHARIDES, POLYDEXTROSE, AND LESS THAN 1%: MORTIERELLA ALPINA OIL, CRYPTHECODINIUM COHNII OIL, SOY LECITHIN, VITAMIN A PALMITATE, VITAMIN D3, VITAMIN E ACETATE,COHNII OIL, SOY LECITHIN, VITAMIN A PALMITATE, VITAMIN D3, VITAMIN E ACETATE, VITAMIN K1, THIAMIN HYDROCHLORIDE, RIBOFLAVIN, VITAMIN B6 HYDROCHLORIDE, VITAMIN B12, NIACINAMIDE, FOLIC ACID, CALCIUM PANTOTHENATE, BIOTIN, ASCORBIC ACID, INOSITOL, CALCIUM CARBONATE, CALCIUM PHOSPHATE, MAGNESIUM OXIDE, FERROUS SULFATE, ZINC SULFATE, MANGANESE SULFATE, CUPRIC SULFATE, POTASSIUM IODIDE, SODIUM SELENITE, POTASSIUM CITRATE, CHOLINE CHLORIDE, POTASSIUM CHLORIDE, SODIUM CHLORIDE, NUCLEOTIDES (CYTIDINE 5’-MONOPHOSPHATE, DISODIUM URIDINE 5’-MONOPHOSPHATE, ADENOSINE 5’-MONOPHOSPHATE, DISODIUM GUANOSINE 5’-MONOPHOSPHATE), TAURINE, L-CARNITINE

That is alot of stuff to push out.

And Breastmilk contains: FATTY ACIDS, POLYUNSATURATED FATTY ACIDS, CASEIN, A-LACTALBUMIN, LACTOFERRIN, IMMUNOGLOBILIN A, IMMUNOGLOBILIN G, LYSOZYME, SERUM ALBUMIN, ß-LACTOGLOBULIN, LACTOSE, OLIGOSACCHARIDES, CALCIUM, PHOSPHORUS, SODIUM, POTASSIUM, CHLORINE

Considerably less stuff to push out.

I don't know about you, but I'd rather clean Lactoferrin out of my kid's butt crack than Galactooligosccharides any day.

6. The Ounce Obsession. The question of the day when feeding Jayden was, "How many ounces did he take?" How many ounces does it take to make him full? How many ounces of formula did I waste today? How many more ounces are left in the canister, so I'll know when to pull out my galoshes and ski suit to go trudging to the store in the snow? You become so concerned about ounces that you forget that all you really need to know is a. is your child happy? b. is your child wetting the right amount of diapers for their age and weight? and c. is your child gaining weight proportionately? With breastmilk there is no ounce tracking, they take exactly the right amount for what they need, and because your breasts work with supply in demand, you never run out. Also, because your baby is so close to you and interacting with their favorite person, they are most assuredly happy. However, should you have some trouble with your supply look into information on fenugreek which is an herbal supplement that can be found in curry spice, or a pint of Guinness or a dark hoppy beer of your choosing. One pint or less of beer (occasionally) as soon as possible after breastfeeding is safe. You want to put as much time as your feeding schedule will allow between drinking your beer and feeding your baby again to give your body enough time to process out the alcohol from the nutrients. Obviously don't go crazy. You shouldn't be stumbling out of your local Irish pub slurring something unintelligible about what an awesome mother you are. A pint once a week or so. Also, to keep your supply up lay off the milk chocolate and keep your breasts out of the freezer.

You might still have apprehensions about breastfeeding, let me do my best to address them:

But I'm going to be back at work soon...

Get yourself a great breast pump and storage system. As long as the majority of feedings are straight from the tap (you) pumping once or twice a day shouldn't dramatically impact your supply. When thinking of breastmilk shelf life remember the rule of 6 (some doctors will say it's the rule of 5, but I went with 6). Breast milk will stay good for 6hrs at room temperature, 6 days refrigerated, and 6 months frozen (12 months if you have a deep freezer you don't keep opening up throughout the day to recover spoonfuls of Ben and Jerry's). So the milk you pump on your lunch break will be good for the dinner time feeding. However, if there is no way to pump at work (and it is your right to pump at work) consider breastfeeding at least for the duration of your maternity leave, rather than skipping it altogether. The colostrum you produce for the first 2 weeks has lasting beneficial effects, and some breastfeeding is better than no breastfeeding.

But I'm too modest...

You say that now because you haven't gone through childbirth yet, but when you do, and your baby door is wide opened for the roomfull of people who are there for it to see, your modesty goes right out the door. Should it come back, then you find a quiet and private place for you to breastfeed. I am not very modest at all, but I will tell you, it is weird to use a breast pump when your dad is in the room. My pump was set up in the living room where I could relax on my couch and watch tv. When my dad would visit, (which was always) he'd want to sit and talk with me while I pumped. I told him it was weird and he'd say, "It's not like I'm looking at you." And I would say, "Still, it's weird! Go away!" and then he would. Let people know what you are and are not comfortable with and they will obey you. If you have guests, they can entertain themselves for a few minutes while you privately pump or nurse. If you are out of your house, you can use a nursing cover, blanket, or baby sling. As long as your baby doesn't expose you with their curious little hands, you won't wind up on youtube. For best results for inconspicuous feedings, don't wear complicated shirts that are too tight or have a high neckline. It's easier to access your breasts from the top than it is from the bottom.

But what if it hurts...

It might. But so didn't childbirth, right? And you made it through that. Your full breasts will be sore and tender and you might leak breastmilk. Don't wear anything too tight or restricting. If you are leaking breastmilk wear bra liners (like panty liners but for your boobs). If your baby is hurting your nipples, don't let it go! There is probably something wrong with your latch. Have a nurse, doctor, lactation coach, or experienced friend help you get your baby's mouth where it should be. If your nipples get sore use a balm or cream that is specifically for breastfeeding moms. Don't become discouraged if breastfeeding doesn't immediately come easy to you. Some of us are 4 generations removed from breastfeeding, and it's not something that is intrinsically known to us anymore. Keep trying, keep with it. It gets a little better every time you do it. And then your children and their children will not be as far removed from this process and it will be easier for them to breastfeed in the future. Keep that in mind when your baby starts growing teeth. (teeth aren't that bad... usually)

But what if it makes my breasts look sad and saggy...

Pregnancy, not breastfeeding can alter the resilience of breast tissue. Your body wants to breastfeed whether you want to or not, and will prep your breasts during pregnancy. So, might as well just breastfeed! Plus when your breasts are full of milk they look ginormus, pert, and beautiful. Plus, you'll be burning off calories, retaining your pregnancy glow, and keeping your period away. This is a non-issue since it's a win/win/win. You win, your baby wins, and your partner wins. Hooray for all!

I hope you read this and it helps you make your choice. Maybe if you've found this blog helpful you can send the link to another mom-to-be on the fence. If you have any additional questions, I'll do my best to answer them, and if you have any additional apprehensions, I'll do my best to blow them out of the water. Good luck Mama!